Monthly Archives: July 2009

“R.I.P”

“R.I.P”

Lately it seems like everyday I turn on the T.V someone else has been killed or lost a battle with an illness.

Life is so delicate.

When I think of something being delicate I think about how it needs to be handled with care.  I think about delicate fabrics that are destroyed when washed improperly. I think about delicate materials that need to be handled with care when being shipped through the mail. I think about getting my eggs home from the super market without breaking any of them. But life…

Life is so delicate.

I don’t remember who I heard say it but I think about those words every time someone dies senselessly or unexpectedly. That phrase takes on more and more meaning by the week. I often think to myself, man, life really is delicate. This year has been crazy. Think of all the celebrities, athletes, and other notable figures that have left us far too soon. More importantly think about the regular people who don’t get media attention that have also passed away. I don’t get worked up when a public figure dies because I think about the average Joe who died that same day and how his family is feeling.

I don’t know if it is because I’m getting older that I’m more aware but it seems like more and more people’s number are being called.  I try to mentally condition myself to cope with death. I tell myself that it happens to everyone. I tell myself that we all have to go. I tell myself that when it hits home I’ll be ready. But will I really? Like all people I’ve lost loved ones. As a youngster I’ve even seen death up close.  I often wonder to myself, if death is inevitable why are we always caught off guard? If we’ve all experienced it many times before, why do we still cry when we experience it again?  If heaven is such a desirable place, why are we sad when our loved ones go?

I don’t know. Though, there is a defense mechanism inside me that wants to avoid emotional pain and continues to seek the answers.

Life is so delicate.

So you must handle yours with care. You must be relentless in your pursuit of happiness and contentment. You must refuse to settle. You must refuse to settle in your professional aspirations. You must refuse to settle in your relationship expectations. You must take calculated risk. You can’t be afraid to fail.

Thanks for visiting The Neighborhood and kicking it with me on The Stoop while I vent,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

Before you go I want to share some wisdom that was shared with me. If you haven’t done so already, get a will and get term life insurance. It’s the responsible thing to do, especially if you have a family. When I got my will notarized a year ago the gentleman said, “it’s nice to see a young man doing this. Many people never do, and it’s a burden on their families when they pass. I also sleep better at night knowing that because I have life insurance my family will be taken care of.

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“Is Marriage a Joke”

“Is Marriage Just A Joke”

I ain’t no joke, I use to let the mic smoke

Now I slam it when I’m done and make sure it’s broke

When I’m gone no one gets on cuz I won’t let

Nobody press up and mess up the scene I set

I like to stand in a crowd and watch the people wonder, d***

But think about it then you’ll understand

I’m just an addict, addicted to music

Maybe it’s a habit, I gotta use it

(Eric B & Rakim “I Ain’t No Joke”)

In the aftermath of the Steve McNair tragedy that went down on the 4th of July I began to think about what marriage has become in our country. You heard all the stories about how he was supposedly happily married and a great father. Then you hear about the circumstances of his death and it just really highlights the complexities of relationships in our society. I’m not judging Steve McNair; his personal life is none of my business, however his situation brought the following thoughts to my mind…again.

As a young adult in my late teens and early twenties I came to the conclusion that marriage was just a joke.  That decision was based on all that I saw growing up. I grew up in a single parent household (though my father was very active in raising my siblings and I). Many of my family members had failed marriages. Some of my friends had no relationship with their fathers at all.

I also saw first hand the pain that infidelity in a marriage can cause a family. I’ll never forget the first time I met my brother from another mother when he was 6 years old. I love my brother deeply but at that time as a 10 year old I was enraged. I heard all the stories from friends about how their father had cheated on their mother and how much it hurt them and those things had an affect on me. As a young adult I thought to myself,

What makes me any different from all of these other men? If they could not avoid the temptation, how could I? I do not want to be the one causing that type of pain in a woman’s life.

Those were truly my thoughts.

We hear the statistics all the time, over 50% of all marriages in our country fail. Hitting only 50% of your shots in basketball is a good thing but when it comes to building and sustaining a family that statistic is horrible. And lets not even talk about the mockery that some entertainers and public figures have made out of marriage.  As a young man I didn’t see many examples of loving marriages and all I heard in the media were the negative scenarios.

So I decided that I would never get married.

I didn’t make that decision because I was having so much fun living the reckless bachelor life. I made that decision because I wanted to avoid all the pain that I associated with marriage.

I felt that way even when I met my wife to be. We dated for over 3 years while she patiently allowed me to grow into the mindset that I have today.  While we were dating I began to look at things differently. This was the same time I started to read books and listen to trainings on mental toughness, emotional intelligence, and principles of success. I was blessed to have met someone that I felt deserved to be married so I had to step up or step aside.

I stepped up.

I made the decision that if I get married I was going to truly commit to all that God intended it to be. I decided that I was going to take on this marriage thing as a challenge. I decided that I was going to be different. Now I am a cheerful advocate of marriage. When someone asks me how the married life is going I don’t give the usual male sarcastic answers. If you ask me I’ll tell you that I am blessed and that the married life is great. It’s great because my wife and I choose to make it great and because we work at it.

That ain’t no joke!

Kickin it on The Stoop,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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You Are What You…Think

You Are What You…Think

Go to church, just confess, and tell the preacher you committed sin

You battled Special Ed when you couldn’t win

Tried, you cried, you shouted, you pouted

But I told ya- You shoulda thought about it

Think about it

(Special Ed “Think About It”)

I start many of my blog posts with a verse from a hip-hop song for several reasons. I guess the main reason is that I grew up with hip-hop music and it was the soundtrack to my youth. Another reason is that, in its truest form, hip-hop music speaks to the truths of my everyday life experiences. And I’m not talking about some of the garbage you hear on the radio.

When I need an energy boost there are songs for that. When I want to have fun, there are songs for that. When I want to be analytical, there are songs for that. When I just want to appreciate a hot beat, there are songs for that. And if I need to hear something to compliment my swagger, there are songs for that too. Like “So fresh and so clean clean.” The music compliments my thoughts.

I was having a conversation with a family member recently and he said that he’s never been down on his luck or had a bad break in life. This gentleman I’m speaking of is one of the most successful people I have ever met but I thought to myself surely he has experienced some down turns on this roller coaster ride that is life. So I started to mention some things that he may have experienced that others would perceive as bad breaks. I asked if he had ever lost business deals, made a bad investment, or had a setback in a relationship. He reluctantly acknowledged that yes he had experienced some of those things but he just blew them off like they weren’t a big deal.

I told him that it was his mindset that allowed him to feel that way. I made him aware of the fact that he wasn’t any different than most people in his experiences but just in the way he thinks.

Thoughts Are Things

Author of the classic book “Think And Grow Rich” Napolean Hill explained that thoughts are things. That is a simple yet powerful statement. Every material thing that you see in our world began with a thought. Think of all of the amazing creations that exist in our world like skyscrapers that touch the sky, the Internet, the pyramids, airplanes, and MP 3 players. The human mind has the capacity to create almost anything.

Including a lifestyle.

Are you in a rut? You are where you are in life because of the way you think. Want to change where you are? Change the way you think. Are you doing well and want to take things to the next level? Elevate your thinking. You want to create more positive outcomes in your life? Have more positive thoughts.

Wondering how you just up and change your thinking after all these years? Well, there is a book at the local bookstore with your name on it. You’d be surprised at what a different perspective on things can do for you.

Don’t think you have time to read? Don’t like to read?

Change your thinking!

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller

Serving up food for thought at The Corner Store,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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Are You In The Zone?

Are You In The Zone?

You’ve probably been in the zone at one time or another in your life. It’s that place in time when everything is going right for you. You may be closing every deal you pitch. You may be writing and your creativity is just flowing. You may be saying all the right things to that person of your affection. You are in the zone! You may be acing that test. You may be knocking off all your opponents. You may be calling all the right shots on the job or business. You are in the zone!

Back in my basketball playing days I recall being in the zone a time or two. I would hit 1, hit 2, hit 3, deep 3-point shots in a row. Then 4, 5, I can’t be stopped! Man, that was a good feeling. There is no greater rush in life than when you are in the zone and you are producing positive outcomes.

However…

That is not the zone that I was speaking of when I posed the question “Are you in the zone?” The zone that I am speaking of is called the Comfort Zone.

Are you in a comfort zone?

Most people would think that a comfort zone is a good place to be. I mean, comfort is such a warm word right. Unfortunately, for those of us who are up to something in life being comfortable is not an option. Being up to something in life means that you are still growing. Growing spiritually, professionally, physically, and/or mentally. Being up to something means that you are a go-getter who is looking to make a difference and stand out from the masses.

You have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

A few years ago someone told me that I had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable if I wanted to reach my goals. For example, if you want to build muscle you must be willing to go through pain, soreness, and no visual results before you get the results that you desire. If you want to build stamina you must push yourself to the point of exhaustion to increase it. Wow! That made so much sense to me and helped me to put things in perspective.

Uncomfortable is where the Champions live – George Zalucki

We all admired Michael Jordan’s brilliance while winning 6 championships. What set him apart from the other great athletes in the NBA was what he did in the offseason to prepare. He got uncomfortable and worked out hard when everyone else was resting. Jerry Rice had the same reputation for grueling offseason workouts. He holds every NFL receiving record and was a 3-time champion. Championship boxers will tell you that they win their fights at 5 am while running and training in the months leading up to the big fight. You think they did these things because they were comfortable?

Many people will never achieve their true desires in life due to a fear of getting uncomfortable. So keep in mind that when you are a little out of sorts while actively chasing your dreams that it is ok.

Be bold and get after it! Try new things! Change your routine!

Get Uncomfortable!

Be a Champion!

Serving up food for thought at The Corner Store,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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The Curious Case Of Hip-Hop Music

The Curious Case of Hip Hop Music

You may remember the movie that came out last Christmas titled the “Curious Case Of Benjamin Button” starring Brad Pitt. If not, here is a short recap. The movie is about a guy named Benjamin Button who grows younger while everyone around him continues to grow older.  It was actually a good movie.

Hip-hop music and I both came onto the scene in 1979. We grew up together. Though, it wasn’t until the mid 80’s that I noticed hip-hops presence. The first songs that I really remember hearing are “ Basketball” by Curtis Blow and “The Show” by Slick Rick and Doug E Fresh. I got really excited every time those songs came on the radio.  That was around 1985. I remember the culture of hip-hop at that time was all about break dancing, pop locking, battling, and graffiti. I’ll never forget my older brother and his crew walking around the neighborhood with a cardboard box, ready for a breaking battle to go down at any time. I used to practice my backspins but I could never quite get it down.

Hip-hop and I continued to mature together in the late 80’s. The music got better as more and more artists came onto the scene. There were great solo artist like LL Cool J and Big Daddy Kane and dope groups like Eric B and Rakim and Public Enemy. There were also fly female artists like Salt N Pepa and MC Lyte representing for the ladies. I’ll never forget getting my first tape when I was in the 5th grade. My buddy Khalil dubbed the new EPMD tape for me. I was hooked.

As I matured in the 90’s and gained a better understanding and appreciation for the art form, hip-hop was entering its golden age.  By the time I was entering high school in 1993 hip-hop music was a phenom from coast to coast. If you turned on the radio in the early to mid 90’s you could hear a diverse sampling of hip-hop that represented every style and taste out there. I mean, you had Dre and Snoop, Outkast, Nas, The Fugees, Wu-Tang Clan, A Tribe Called Quest, Biggie, Pac, Common, De La Soul, Gang Star, The Pharcyde, Bone Thugs & Harmony, Pete Rock & CL Smooth, Scarface, The Geto Boys, KRS-ONE, UGK, The Roots, Eightball & MJG, Queen Latifah, Naughty By Nature, Salt N Pepa, Yo-Yo, Arrested Development, and Digable Planets to name just a few. There was diversity and there was something hot for everyone no matter what style you liked.

Around the new millennium something curious happened.

When I graduated from college in 2001 I noticed something was up with hip-hop. Here I was all grown up, ready to display my knowledge and growth when I noticed that hip-hop seemed to start going in a different direction. It was losing its bold creative edge. The music seemed pre-packaged, safe, and everything was starting to sound the same. Many of the artists from the 80’s and 90’s were gone. Gone too was hip-hop with a conscience or a message. Tuning into the radio has become painful. The diversity in the sound has gone. The representation of good music from all regions is gone.

Yeah, there are some glimpses of creativity and continued growth from artist like Kanye, Lil Wayne, and Lupe Fiasco. And Jay Z has brilliantly survived the down turn to remain a force. But I’m talking about hip-hop as a whole. And as a whole I think that hip-hop and I are unfortunately growing apart.

Curiously, we are growing in different directions.

Posted up on The Corner,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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Man In The Mirror

Man In The Mirror

Gotta make a change

For once in my life

It’s gonna feel real good

Gonna make a difference

Gonna make it right…

I’m starting with the man in the mirror

I’m asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place

Take a look at yourself and make a change

(Michael Jackson “Man In The Mirror” 1987)

Watching yesterday’s memorial services in honor of Michael Jackson caused me to reflect on my favorite inspirational song and performance of his. In 1988 at the Grammy Awards he performed “Man In The Mirror” live. I was 9 years old and I remember crying because I was so moved by the message behind the song and the passion in which Michael performed it. I’m sure I was too young to really understand the depth of the message at that time but that just goes to show you how powerful a performer he was. You can see that powerful performance by clicking here.

As I listen to that song today, through the filter of my life’s’ experiences, I realize how truly powerful and relevant that song is; Especially for a blog like The Neighborhood Enrichment Project where principles of success are often discussed.

I’ve had plenty “Man In The Mirror” moments in my life. When I was growing up the idea of change was percieved as a negative thing amongst my peers and I. To change was to sell out. The words “I’ll never change” were often spoken with pride.  Many of the rap songs we listened to spoke the same message giving validity to our feelings on the matter. Growing up in inner city Philly meant you had to have a tough exterior if you wanted to survive.  I walked around with a cold unapproachable demeanor. In middle school I got into fights, received poor conduct grades, and was told by teachers that I had a terrible attitude. I was an angry child for several reasons and my mother was very concerned with where my life was going.

Gotta make a change, For once in my life, It’s gonna feel real good, Gonna make a difference, Gonna make it right…

I remember making a conscious decision going into high school that I wanted to just be cool. I decided that I would be kind to others and respectful and polite to adults. I decided that I would say please, thank you, and hold the door for people. I wanted to just be known as a cool guy who got along with everyone. I found out that the nicer I was to others the nicer people were to me. I learned that the more I smiled, the more smiles I received. I learned that the more handshakes and hugs I gave the more I got in return. Life has been much more rewarding ever since I made that decision to change a long time ago.

If you wanna make the world a better place, Take a look at yourself and make a change.

I often hear adults complaining about life’s circumstances. Well, I’ve learned that it’s not life’s circumstances that determine your success and happiness because life’s circumstances happen to us all. The circumstances of lay offs, death, illness, debt, bad relationships, inconveniences, and failure happen to us all. It’s your attitude and the changes that you are willing to make within yourself that ultimately determine your level of success and happiness.

So as Michael would say, if you want to make YOUR world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change.

Are you willing to look into that mirror?

Serving up food for thought at The Corner Store,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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NBA Rap: The Offseasons Winners & Losers

NBA Rap: The Offseasons Winners & Losers

There has been a lot of player movement around the NBA in the last week or two. Let’s reflect…

Shaq went to the Cavs

Richard Jefferson to the Spurs

Vince Carter to the Magic

Ron Artest to the Lakers

Trevor Ariza to the Rockets

Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva to the Pistons

Hedo Turkoglu to the Raptors

Rasheed Wallace to the Celtics

Jason Kidd stayed put with the Mavericks

There are still a few big names left out there in free agency, most notably Allen Iverson and Grant Hill, and I’m sure that there are more trade talks brewing as well.

So who are the winners and losers so far this offseason? How are they positioned in the chase for a title in 2010?

We all know that these moves are being made with one thing in mind. Knocking off Kobe and the Lakers.  The Spurs made a nice move adding the athletic 20 ppg. (points per game) scorer Richard Jefferson to there big 3 Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili. There ability to contend out West will depend on Manu Ginobili’s health. Unfortunately for the Rockets Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady can’t seem to avoid the injury bug. The addition of Trevor Ariza will not have as much of an impact if he doesn’t have a star to play off of. He only averaged 9 ppg. last season and 11ppg. in the playoffs as a role player. The other teams out West have been quiet and have kept their teams in tact outside of adding a few draft picks. However, I think that Denver and San Antonio will pose the biggest threat to the Lakers next season.

The Lakers, a.k.a the defending champs, made the best move out West in my opinion by adding Ron Artest. Despite his reputation as a hot head Ron Artest brings a physical defensive presence to the Lakers, which they were lacking. Artest will also guard the other teams best wing player so that Kobe won’t have too, which frees him up to concentrate on getting buckets. Signing Lamar Odom should also be a priority.

With all that said I think the Lakers will represent the West in the Championship in 2010.

Most people were disappointed that we didn’t get the Kobe vs. Lebron showdown in the championship this year, including myself. So the Cavs did what everyone seems to do when they want to get a ring. They got Shaq. It worked for the Lakers. It worked for the Heat. But… it won’t work for Lebron and the Cavs. They need a versatile big man who can guard out on the perimeter. I don’t think Orlando got any better by replacing Hedo Turkoglu with Vince Carter. Hedo was there go to player in the clutch and he hit big shots for them all season long.  He could run the pick and roll, hit the 3, or get to the lane. And he was a matchup problem for most teams at 6’10’’.  They also lost key back ups like Courtney Lee and big man Marcin Gortat. I think that Detroit is just confused after breaking up that title team and trading their leader, Chauncey Billups.  The other teams in the east are all a player or three from seriously competing.

The Boston Celtics added versatile big man Rasheed Wallace (A Philly Public League product like myself) and are said to be close to signing Grant Hill. With the addition of Sheed and the return of a healthy Kevin Garnett the Celtics will be tough to beat next season. Ray Allen and Paul Pierce were a tough out last year without those two!

I’m picking Boston to represent the East in the 2010 Championship series.

So, the Lakers and Celtics are my big winners so far this offseason and they look poised to meet in the finals for the second time in three seasons.

What do you think? Let the argument’s, I mean discussions, begin.

Chillin at The Park,

Scott Speed

TheNeighborhoodSpeaks.com

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Live Your Life

Live Your Life

So keep on gettin your paper and keep on climbin

Look in the mirror and keep on shinin

Till the game ends, till the clock stop

We gon post up on the top spot

Livin the life, the life…

(T.I & Rihanna “Live Your Life” 2008)

This track by T.I and Rihanna is an example of feel good music at it’s best. We don’t get too many songs played on the radio nowadays that have anything that resembles a positive message so I really appreciated when this track dropped. There is a really strong message that can be taken from this song.

Just Live Your Life…

That phrase is repeated numerous times throughout the track so it really stands out to me. It is so easy to lose focus in life and look up and an entire year or two has past and you have not gotten any closer to achieving your goals. There are several reasons why this happens but one of the primary causes is that we underestimate the power of TODAY. What can I do today to better my work situation, to get in better shape, to make more money, to spend more time with my family, to have better relationships, to get closer to God.

Let go of the past…

Some people never get over their past successes and failures. I always make fun of my wife when she speaks of her track and field accolades from high school as if they still apply today. I always have to add the “ You were” to her statements. Some people still define themselves by their high school prom queen and B-ball star glory day’s decades later. It’s like they have the Al Bundy “I scored 4 touchdowns in one game” syndrome. These people get left behind in life because they’d rather spend their time thinking about what they used to be, rather than what they are going to do to reach higher levels of success.

Others never recover from setbacks and disappointments in their lives, careers, or business. They relive every mistake and feeling of rejection in their minds and are fearful of it happening again. You have to get over it. I know that it is easier said than done but it is necessary if one wants to reach their full potential in life.

Tomorrow is not promised…

Many people get by day to day because of thoughts of a better tomorrow. They hope to make more money, have more opportunities, have better relationships, have better health, and have stronger faith. The thought is that tomorrow just has to be better than today. But how? How are you living your life today to make tomorrow better? Your future can become your past quick if you are not mindful. Hoping for a good future without investing in today is like waiting for a plant to grow without ever planting any seed.

Live Your Life…Today

Maximize your today’s. It’s today that matters most. Yesterday ended last night. Tomorrow hasn’t come. So how can you demonstrate your best Today? How can you demonstrate your character, gifts, and abilities Today? How can you make a positive impact in the lives of others Today? What can you do to strengthen your relationships, make more money, find the career you love, and start getting in shape Today?

You will never change your life until you change something you do daily– John Maxwell

Serving up food for thought at The Corner Store,

Scott Speed

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